I’m selfish but so are you!!

558ce9daf82d22921acec6cb1330b7b9Do you ever go through life thinking why? Why am i working so hard for so little ? That’s me….. BUT!
I’m so ungrateful for what i have, if i just stopped to think about all the people around the world who have nothing i’d maybe realise i do have everything. Life is a daily grind and we work so hard just to have a steady living but with the luxuries i take for granted and yet don’t see them as luxuries but the norm !
My home is nice and filled with all the latest things yet i moan about having little money to buy a car or money to spend on everyday items. Yes,  I’m selfish but so is many i just admit it….

With the above said i could equally have nothing and be happy, if i didn’t have the commitments i would happily clear of into the wilderness and have a life of peace and tranquility living on whats only around me. The modern life requires us to want want want rather than appreciate what we have, we are consumed with adverts of the latest gadgets, our neighbour who has the latest car we want or the friend who’s always looking good in their new clothes . . .

I’m now going to try and appreciate what i have and not think about all the things i don’t, you can’t enjoy what you don’t have and with good health and a roof over your head YOU HAVE EVERYTHING !!!

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Down in the dumps!

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Do you ever have them days or weeks where you just can’t be bothered but put on a fake smile and act like everything’s ok? Well, that’s been me lately!  I have little if no motivation at all and the worst thing is i don’t know why… Or maybe i do and rather not talk about it therefore locking it all up inside making me feel down and depressed.

I’d always recommend talking to someone if you feel down in the dumps but i’m a hypocrite! We all are but might not realise it at the time. I said in a previous post i wanted some me time to get away and chill out, if i’m totally honest this hasn’t happened that much. I’ve decided i need to really try to make this happen but i’ve said this all before.

 

I once watched  a movie called  – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and in that he says……

Life moves pretty fast if You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

This is how i’m feeling right now and i’m sure many others do! Life is moving so fast and i’m on a daily routine that needs to be broken and injected with some excitement and fun….

Sorry i’ve not posted in a while but i refuse to just make up the numbers and would rather post what matters to me and others.

 

We All Have Split Personalities…

 

i’ve recently come to the conclusion that 99.9% of people have split personalities, you might not think so BUT!  Do you ever catch yourself answering the phone in a different tone of voice or while talking to a member of staff or management at work? I do and i’m not ashamed to say i do, i can’t help it…

I turn into a posh idiot and put on this pathetic voice that sounds like i’m from a place on the world map that doesn’t exist !!!!! It’s not just me, i’ve been to the bank, shops, doctors, you name it? People always act and talk different, WHY!!! why do we do it? You might be sat reading this thinking “ well i don’t, i’m the same all the time “ Hmmm maybe your that 1% ?

I know when i’ve picked up the phone to someone of importance i turn into this upgraded version of me but for some reason i can’t stop it? I’d love to be just me but would others like that? Are we all trying to impress, painting a picture of the person we want to be ? I don’t know!!!!

Lets all be honest ? Is that you ^^^^

 

Spontaneous Me Failed!!!!!

Not even sure i can bring myself to make this blog post!

Cold, Tired and hungry. What a complete washout.

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I got a phone call late friday evening from my brother asking if i’d like to take a road trip? Always up for anything spontaneous i replied “yes” I soooo wish i thought through this decision. In fact now i’m sat here thinking about it i’d say it was the worst decision i’ve ever made. “Ok maybe thats an exaggeration“ but it was a shi! decision on my part.

Brother picks me up at 1pm, i’m thinking ohhh we can’t be going far setting of this late CAN WE? errr, almost three hours later we arrive in northumberland, rain is pouring down, misty skies, nowhere to park, no idea what we’re doing, no campsite no fu!*ing  WAYYYYY ……..

I asked not very politely what the………. are we doing? “ Brother “ Ohhh we’ll park in this layby and take a walk and find somewhere to camp. Sounds fun “ NOT!!!” We must of walked five miles in total, my feet said so because i had blisters 😦 owww poor me…

Back in the car we drove around kielder forest, It’s the largest man-made woodland in England so as you can imagine this wasn’t a little drive,  just another hour wasted.

We finally found somewhere to park and both trekked into the vast forest with a face like thunder!!!!!! “Well, i wasn’t happy what do you expect?? ”

At this point the weather was getting worse and all i wanted was to find somewhere to pitch up and get warm, as we walked through the forest it got much darker and we soon had to make a decision as we were losing light. After another hour of messing around i said bollox to this were camping here and so we did.

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That night it never Stopped raining, i just wanted to go to sleep so tomorrow would come faster 😉 Was never going to happen the rain and wind battered us all night, we couldn’t get warm and we couldn’t cook food as everything was so wet, it was true survival “  i didn’t come to survive i was expecting more Ha! “ miserable i know 🙂 “

The next day we woke to ………………. RAIN

We packed up and headed to the car and had a drive about in the hope i could get the camera out.

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I think the moral of this story is…… Spontaneous me failed!!!!! 🙂 Nighty Night zzzz

 

 

Have Some Me Time

Ever feel like you need to escape? Escape from Life, Family, Work etc? I’ve set myself a goal that once a month i’ll take a drive on my own into a place where you could hear a pin drop. Why? Well, i need to start breaking life into manageable portions. Lately i’m feeling stressed why i don’t even know? Maybe it’s because i’m trying to juggle life in general and have little time to think of what i’m actually doing.

I hate to moan because there is always someone worse off than yourself and my problems are nothing compared to some, in saying that there “my“ problems and to me that’s huge.

All i’m asking for is some “Me time“ away from everything and everyone so i can clear my head and return with a better understanding of my next move in life.

Life moves so fast and i hate routine, i like the spontaneous stuff where you don’t need to think, i like the not knowing!!

We all know life isn’t like that and it does take planing. To plan effectively you need to think clearly and to do that you need some  “Me time”.

SO…

I started my escape today, i travelled to the coast to a deserted beach where the only things were over head. It was stunning, nothing in sight and the only sound was waves lapping up on the shore.

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Why not join me and you yourself take time away from life and all the crap that surrounds it and have some “Me time”

 

The Awkward Family Functions

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Family functions. You know? the kind of  family you never see.

A few weeks ago i was invited to a night function at “ my cousins wedding “ You know the cousin you never see… Well i’m not really a people’s person. Hmm Maybe i haven’t worded that correctly, “ i like my own little bubble “ and i’m maybe a little socially awkward, i think. You see, i’m not a massive drinker therefore find it difficult to put a fake smile on, instead i look miserable and don’t act very sociable “ but is that my fault? “ I’m not sure…

Anyway, This function…

In the taxi on the way there i was thinking, what do i say to all these family members who i’ve not really seen for years? You know the aunties, uncles, cousins etc… Well me been me i thought just be yourself, everyone has their own lives, we don’t have to pretend to be sad about not seeing each other “harsh but true“

 

As i arrive and walk into the main door i was greeted by 3 family members that i never even recognised, first words was, owwww haven’t you changed? “ errr yes! Its been like 15 years … Next words to come out of their mouths, ohhh comeee here lets get a photo “Really are you taking the piss ? i’ve not even got in the door never mind a slackner in hand.

My plan went out of the window, i wasn’t me, i was a fake person who even i din’t know… Read on…

I agreed putting a fake smile on while still looking miserable but acting like i was over the moon to see them when really inside my body was crawling and i was cringing, i wanted out!!!! ( some face eh! )

After grabbing a drink from the bar i then go find the bride and groom, again putting that great fake smile on. Then comes ohh have you seen granddad ? No i replied! At this point i was thinking, i’ve not even seen him since i were like 10 years old and i’m now 30, where is he? What does he look like? I was really out of my comfort zone trying my hardest to wing it.

I did the rounds going around all the tables putting my wonderful fake smile on and pretending how much i’ve missed every one of them. WHAT A TIT I FELT, why couldn’t i just be honest with them?

If i was honest i’d say… Hiiiii, long time no see?  Have you been up to much? Alright i’m off now good to see you take care “even then i’d be lying”  Instead i sit there and be too faced and act like i’m loving every minute of it!

As it happens most of the guests have been at both the wedding and the night function so was getting tired and wanted to go home “bless their cotton socks”

After a few hours i could finally make my escape without saying the good-byes , i walked out of the door all smug thinking well next time i’ll see you lot again is another wedding or funeral?  Depending on which one things could be rather different 😉

All that said part of me wishes i did see my family more but people have their own lives and it’s just not possible. I’m really close to my immediate family “well almost all of them” so that’s all that matters..

Can you relate ? I bet you can….

My Haunted Past

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I’ve been wanting to talk about my haunted past for quite some time but with such a subject it’s almost easier to keep it locked away then it is to talk about it. My story is 100% true and nothing is polished, twisted or dramatised , i really don’t need to…

As a young child growing up i lived with mum and dad, brother and sister in an old house in a city that dates back over 8000 – 7000 BC. it’s believed to be one of the most haunted cities in the world.

As i think back to my younger years the house was just your normal average looking house, there was nothing really special about it. With that said, id never imagined it would turn out to haunt me to this very day.

From around the age of 15 is when me personally started to experience strange unexplained things happening, noises, things going missing and then suddenly appearing again, i never really questioned it until….

One day i went to the toilet for a wee wee and in my right ear i heard some soft female voice say my name, now at this point i were starting to worry!!!  I knew 100% what i just heard and that wasn’t from “ our world “ That same evening i was having a sleep over with a friend and were recording music off the radio. Mother shouts up to turn it off, it’s getting late. I turned it off but not unplugged when all of a sudden the radio blasted out on full volume, safe to say mother wasn’t happy 😦 She came up stairs and unplugged the radio and moved it to the other side of the room when only moments later the radio turned on and static played from the radio. I’d say this was the first real sign something wasn’t right but mum and dad just dismissed it.

The next day i talked with mum and dad in-depth about all things that had happened to me,  i could tell they knew more than they were letting on and just dismissed it telling me everything was alright, i knew it wasn’t!!! A few days passed and everything was normal UNTIL one day i were sat in my bedroom playing on a scalextric with my brother when all of a sudden a hamster ball flew across our faces to the other side of the room, needless to say we both left that room pretty fast.

That same evening all the family was sat in the front room when we heard this huge bang, dad turned to me and said go see what that is son “ very brave of him “ i opened the living room door to find my sisters toy doll at the bottom of the stairs “strange?“ I was told to go put the toy doll back into my sisters bedroom and close the door behind me, so i did . . .

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Open the living room door,  to your right was the stairs leading to 3 bedrooms,  my sisters bedroom you’d turn right at the top of the stairs. Her bedroom door opened inwards and behind that was a set of chester drawers, that’s where i placed this doll. I closed the door behind me and went back down stairs!!!!!

I return to the living room with the rest of my family when seconds later another bang, this one even louder than the last, this time dad jumps up opens the living room door and at the bottom of the stairs sat perfectly upright is this toy doll…. Obviously we couldn’t explain this and was all shaken up by what just happened.

That night we all decided the best thing to do was to sleep together down stairs, we talked into the night about whats happening within the house. Mum and Dad finally broke the silence and told us that they too had experienced unexplained things but didn’t want to scare us so said nothing.

For the next few weeks we all went to stay with family but soon moved back home, we couldn’t stay with family forever. Days after moving back home i woke in the night and as i opened my eyes i see an old woman looking over me, i quickly shut my eyes and put my head under the covers. I was so scared, i peeped from the covers to see if she was still there and she’d gone…..

A lot happened in that house and i could talk forever about it, i think writing part two would be a good option in the future.

This story does end with Mum & Dad selling the house, i often wonder if the new owners had the same experiences?

20 Years on and i still think of this house…. Number 21

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bichon Frisé story

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The family pet we never had! I say that because as a child growing up i always wanted a dog, a friend, someone to talk to, walk with and cuddle up with. You often hear people talk about Dogs as if their people, i could never understand that until recently.

We had our first child 5 years ago and even that was a miracle but that’s for another day…. As our child grew she often asked about brothers and sisters, we couldn’t bring ourselves to have that conversation with her so we just dismissed it, hoping it would pass and soon enough it did.

I always wanted the dog that i never had as a child but unfortunately my other half was attacked by a dog at a very young age and was badly scared. She held this great fear of dogs after that to the point she’d cross over the road if one was approaching . I had to respect this and never really pushed the subject but i also didn’t hide the fact that i wanted a dog either despite me been allergic to them 😦

It wasn’t until we went away with some friends and unbeknown to us a friend had taken her dog. A Bichon Frisé, it was the most gorgeous thing i’ve ever seen, it just sat there next to it’s owner and never moved. Over the weekend we both were attached to this dog, i was amazed my eyes weren’t watering, i usually stroke a dog and my eyes stream and nose runs like a waterfall. Our daughter turned her attention on to the dog. Mum, Dad can we get one ? ermmm, errrr we’ll think about it love.

Weeks passed and all we talked about was this dog, i could tell both of us were growing to the idea 🙂 With my birthday fast approaching we’d decided that looking for a reputable dog breeder would do no harm even if it was to get some information on them. We eventually found one and traveled over 100miles to go view some puppies “only two weeks old” We talked so much about these dogs and left feeling like this was the perfect dog for our family.

We got a phone call 6 weeks later saying their ready if we’d like to come pick one she would let us be the first to choose. We said we’d discuss it and call her back, 5 minutes passed and we were arranging another visit and on route to choose our puppy.

We arrived excited with daughter in hand,we always said she could choose the puppy, we towered over these little white balls of fluff every one of us saying owwwww, aren’t they so cute!!! Most of them was around the same size but one was tiny and ran straight to our daughter licking her fingers and making a squeaking sound. She would not put this puppy down even to look at the rest, she had truly made her mind up from the off.

We got this little puppy home and she nurtured this little thing and showed it love and affection like it was her brother or sister, to this day she calls it her brother. Every evening she’ll kiss him good night just like every morning she will do the same. They have truly bonded like two humans would. Both me and my partner have also found a friend for life i couldn’t recommend the Bichon Frisé to a family enough. Meet our little world Charlie 7months old …

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Living North

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So This weekend we decided we’d venture out to the living north show at york racecourse, we never really knew what to expect. Been a magazine i wasn’t expecting a lot really? As we approached the entrance we were greeted by a nice girl who offered us a magazine for £1 instead of the usual £3, i started to think this is going to be a promotion fest and were going to be hassled about products with people using the hard sale tactics on us but no.. My first impressions were so wrong, in fact it was the complete opposite.

As we walked through the lobby we was greeted with a spectacular sight, i mean york racecourse is fantastic location anyway but these stalls were great, if only there was fewer people we’d be able to move and actually get close to these stalls. The first room was food, i think we had a full course meal just from the testers on display 🙂

All the stall holders were great i can’t remember anyone trying to force a sale upon us we were just left to look at out own leisure. We did buy a few items from this hall but one stall in particular we were so impressed with, a stall called WELLYBIX, this lady was selling homemade dog treats and what we was so impressed with is that they had been analytically tested and approved by a veterinary laboratory, for us and Charlie that’s important. I would also like to point out this lovely lady sold us a dog cake treat for £1 and i must say if she said £3 we’d of been just as happy with that price, Charlie loved it, i don’t think it touched the sides

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Moving around the show there was a great mixture of stalls on show ranging from home furnishings to beauty products, photography and then gardening. A lot of the stalls did not appeal to us personally but i’m sure people with “ a lot “ of money to spend were spoilt for choice. I’m not insinuating all these stalls were expensive but yes, the odd few were and wouldn’t appeal to your average person. That said i think the whole experience was a good one and loved looking around, i think living north did a great job at putting on this event and would definitely recommend it to anyone thinking of going to a future event.