The Awkward Family Functions

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Family functions. You know? the kind of  family you never see.

A few weeks ago i was invited to a night function at “ my cousins wedding “ You know the cousin you never see… Well i’m not really a people’s person. Hmm Maybe i haven’t worded that correctly, “ i like my own little bubble “ and i’m maybe a little socially awkward, i think. You see, i’m not a massive drinker therefore find it difficult to put a fake smile on, instead i look miserable and don’t act very sociable “ but is that my fault? “ I’m not sure…

Anyway, This function…

In the taxi on the way there i was thinking, what do i say to all these family members who i’ve not really seen for years? You know the aunties, uncles, cousins etc… Well me been me i thought just be yourself, everyone has their own lives, we don’t have to pretend to be sad about not seeing each other “harsh but true“

 

As i arrive and walk into the main door i was greeted by 3 family members that i never even recognised, first words was, owwww haven’t you changed? “ errr yes! Its been like 15 years … Next words to come out of their mouths, ohhh comeee here lets get a photo “Really are you taking the piss ? i’ve not even got in the door never mind a slackner in hand.

My plan went out of the window, i wasn’t me, i was a fake person who even i din’t know… Read on…

I agreed putting a fake smile on while still looking miserable but acting like i was over the moon to see them when really inside my body was crawling and i was cringing, i wanted out!!!! ( some face eh! )

After grabbing a drink from the bar i then go find the bride and groom, again putting that great fake smile on. Then comes ohh have you seen granddad ? No i replied! At this point i was thinking, i’ve not even seen him since i were like 10 years old and i’m now 30, where is he? What does he look like? I was really out of my comfort zone trying my hardest to wing it.

I did the rounds going around all the tables putting my wonderful fake smile on and pretending how much i’ve missed every one of them. WHAT A TIT I FELT, why couldn’t i just be honest with them?

If i was honest i’d say… Hiiiii, long time no see?  Have you been up to much? Alright i’m off now good to see you take care “even then i’d be lying”  Instead i sit there and be too faced and act like i’m loving every minute of it!

As it happens most of the guests have been at both the wedding and the night function so was getting tired and wanted to go home “bless their cotton socks”

After a few hours i could finally make my escape without saying the good-byes , i walked out of the door all smug thinking well next time i’ll see you lot again is another wedding or funeral?  Depending on which one things could be rather different 😉

All that said part of me wishes i did see my family more but people have their own lives and it’s just not possible. I’m really close to my immediate family “well almost all of them” so that’s all that matters..

Can you relate ? I bet you can….